when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
