he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
