I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was like eating out sand paper
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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