Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
