I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
