I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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