If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
