Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
