I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
