I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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