hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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