is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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