My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
