well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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