New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
