His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
