Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
