this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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