'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
