I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
