his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
