Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
