FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize