wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
