Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
