I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sorry about my life...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
