Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
