so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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