My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
