Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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