May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
