also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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