If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
