Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
