Are we in a gay sports bar?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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