He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize