Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize