is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
