ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
