she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
