All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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