Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
