he puts the penis in happiness.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
