Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize