for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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