I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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