If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
foreskin is a definite game changer
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
