I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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