Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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