So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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