Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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