I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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