we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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