Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
