Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
