You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
