he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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